A new beginning

A few weeks ago I started a blog and I now realize that all I did was talk about all the bad things that I was thinking about and afraid of. It finally hit me if I continue to let this fear get to me, then all the things that I am afraid of will just keep coming at me and I'll never be free of it. So I've decided that even though my original blog was still a baby, I didn't want to continue on that path and wanted a fresh start.

When I think about the things that scare me and my biggest fear is the amount of debt that P and I have acquired in the past year. I have to stop worrying about us not paying it off and thinking about how we ARE going to pay it off and how good it is going to feel when we get that monkey off our backs.

For months now P has been wanting me to read that book The Secret and when it was first brought up to me I tried to read it, but I just wasn't in the right frame of mind for it. I got the book yesterday at the library and while I'm barely into the second chapter, I feel like I've had a major breakthrough. In the last few months/weeks where I've begun to wallow in my fear all of these "bad" things have just been piling on top of me. At one point yesterday my fear was so strong that I couldn't breathe, it was suffocating me. And all it took was to start reading this book and really let what was being said sink in. What you put out to the universe is what you attract back to you. I've always been a pretty positive person, but the realities of being a home owner and engaged woman have sunk in and it's like WOW I'm an adult and I didn't know how to deal with it. So what I've been projecting out into the world is my fear -- it was so think you could cut it with a knife!

Last night after talking with P for a bit I decided that I don't want to be the victim anymore. I don't want to be paralyzed by this financial fear. I know that P and I can pay off the debt we have, it will take a little time and a lot of effort, but it is completely doable. I just have to keep that constantly in my mind and take a deep breathe when the bad thoughts start to creep in.

For me today is going to be the beginning of a new way of thinking. I'm hopeful and for the first time in weeks I feel like some of the burden that I've been carrying around is gone. It truly is amazing at what your thoughts can do.